St. Louis

St. Louis is so green, and not so hot and muggy this time of year. I am enjoying the relative humidity and green leafyness of it all. Iris are out in full bloom...mine are barely up at home.

My father has a "new" house--that is, it's been built for 2 years but he has only lived in it since January. I hadn't seen it before, but it is directly behind the monster house he had before. The new one is more beautiful and better laid out--not so overwhelmingly large. The old one had a great room which practically echoed; this one has the same idea but on a much smaller scale.

So far, a very cultural weekend. Fantastic symphony (St Louis Symphony Orchestra doing Beethoven's 9th), the Met's HD feed of La Cenerentola (otherwise known as Cinderella) and two art museums. St Louis Art Museum had a Ming Dynasty show; St Louis University Art Museum had a show of artwork from the Tsars of Russia and a show about Marcel Duchamp and his interest in chess. Apparently he was big into chess, and the world tournament for chess is in St. L this week.

We've also done quite a lot of cooking. I did most of the baking, fun fun. I learned to make konifa, a traditional Egyptian dessert, and made goreeba, one of my all time favorite cookies. They spread a bit more than they should of, but otherwise are perfect. The konifa turned out to die for. I will have to make that at home.

Hoping to see SB, my oldest friend in the world, this week. I haven't seen her or talked to her much in a long time. Our paths have gone very different directions. She is an orthodox Jew, which is not particularly an issue, but has changed her life quite a bit. Anyway, for whatever reason, we don't keep in close touch, but I do love to see her.

On another note, why does my space bar make a squeaky noise? This is a new computer.

So I added my blog feed to FB. Maybe that will force me to keep up with it a little more.

breathing

First, answers to some questions:
When the call to prayer happens there is a definite drop in the noise level, and much loud music suddenly gets turned off. The whole country doesn't go silent, but I wish it did--what a wonderful relaxing moment that would be. It is probably most noticeable 3 times/day--the midday prayer, the mid-afternoon prayer and the sundown prayer. The other two are before sunrise and after sundown, when most people are already home.

Weather: Hot? not really. Perfect really--warm during the day, cold at night. It is actually warmer outside than in for the most part.

I have been mostly taking it slowly while I have been here partly because of my back and partly just because if feels good to do so. This meant I also needed to scale back what I thought I could do, and that has been fine too.

Yesterday I came into Irbid with Nazrene (a girl) and stayed overnight with dar Abu Ra'ed. It was almost a relief to get there because it felt like the most comfortable place yet since I have been there. This family is one of my favorites and the one who provided the most support and love while I was here. There were three families who I was very close to, but this one did the best job of accepting me as I was, without expecting me to change or adjust for them. They were also the only one to openly welcome Jesse when he came to visit. Their oldest son was one of my closest friends while I was here. He's in Germany now, and will be gone at least 7 more years because of a situation with the military. There's nine kids altogether ranging from ages 37 to 15. 3 boys, 6 girls. They have a nice apartment in Irbid. They used to live in Malka pretty close to me. When 3 of their kids started university, they moved to town to cut down on commuter time.

Buildings and houses are mostly concrete block, no insulation. There are windows in every room, usually. Floors are tiled with rugs laid over them. By no means are the floors warm, even with rugs on them. Central heat is very rare--the usual heat source is a "soba" which is a propane fired heater that is relatively ineffective and quite smelly. The concrete holds the cold so that it is usually colder inside than out, and it also holds heat in the summer, although it is better in the summer than winter. Usually there is one room which is formally furnished with couches and chairs and it is used mostly for guests, but not always. Then whatever rooms are leftover get fersche--floor cushions, which also serve as beds. Sheets are rarely used--you sleep on a blanket with more blankets on top. People sleep anywhere they like, and are used to sleeping with a lot of noise, and light.

This morning Om Ra'ed woke up before the sunrise call to prayer and read Koran in concert with the mullah at the mosque close by. Then there was prayers, and then she stayed up singing Koran for quite awhile after that. I think they have become more religious in the last few years, although their kids appear to be leaning the other direction, interestingly. Their youngest son has just decided not to pray for some reason, which is upsetting them quite a bit. My guess is that it is one of the few rebellion options open to him and that he'll go back to it later. He has a similiar serious bent like his older brother.

Two nights ago I went with A-K to Abu Schwarib's house (Father of Mustache). He is called that because of a very large, long bushy mustache that he sports. He's a very funny guy, and his wife is lovely. However, between him, A-K and another man, they were smoking so much I thought I was going to suffocate for lack of air! They must've smoked about 10 each in 1.5 hours. Finally I went outside to fill my lungs with real air and then I really couldn't stand it when I went back in. They do not like to open windows in the evening either because it makes the house cold (of course). Something I do not understand is this: the women all know that smoking is bad for them and their kids, as well as for the men, and they will say so, but they do NOTHING to stop it. I don't know if they feel they can't say no, or what. The men are more interested in their addiction than in the health of their families, selfish bunch.

Earlier that day I spent the afternoon with dar Abu Thayyer. This was an interesting experience. Their two girls, who used to be sweet and friendly, have gotten so religious that they aren't really willing to be friendly. It is very odd. The oldest is engaged now, and her father gave her a lecture on being immodest with her fiance while I was there--immodest in this case, for a girl who covers her face, means sitting next to him and talking to him. Basically he's saying it is inappropriate to use the engagement time to get to know the guy and she should wait until she is married. I had to bite my tongue because I wasn't going to argue with him but I really wanted to hit him over the head. His wife just had another baby and it is obvious that she is not healing quickly--9 kids, pretty much only 1-2 years between then, takes a toll on one's body. The boys in the family are more free, but hampered by a dislike of school which means that they won't go to university and probably won't go far. The oldest, Thayyer, was kind enough to walk me up to Om Mazen's house which I appreciated because I don't really like the area where they live.

It is olive season right now, and many people are out picking olives, and taking them to get pressed for oil. The women are putting up bottles of olives for family use. This isn't the best year for olives as it hasn't rained enough the last two years.

My back is better, but not healed. It is very stiff. The stretches help, when I can do them (it is not really appropriate because there is little privacy, and it is immodest to do many of the particular stretches which help the section where the pain is coming from). The medication continues to take the edge off and not much more. If I could sit less it would help, but there is this thing against people standing here. Obviously one can't be comfortable unless one is sitting, or something. It is mostly an issue when bending, or getting up or down.

My brain's gone to sleep, so I think I am going to go outside and walk for awhile. It just happened again--call to prayer, music went off abruptly. *smile*

Jordan day 3

Hello...

I had the opportunity to come to Irbid today so I thought I would after doing nothing but travel yesterday. It was too early to go visit, and I came with Nazrene, who wanted me to come see something. Right now she's in class for computers of some sort, so I will meet her in a bit.

The 'aser call to prayer just began and there was a sudden cessation of sound in the cafe where I am--the music went off quite abruptly! It'll be back in a moment or two, as soon as the call is over. I love the sound of it and also the silence.

I can't tell if my back is improved or not. I am on some sort of medicine I got from the pharmacy for sports injuries which has a muscle relaxant and a pain killer in it. It takes the edge off, but I can still feel it pretty strongly. Today I did a bunch of stretches to try to help it go away quicker. It feels like a muscle spasm, like I had about 4 years ago, but not as bad at that time. The worst is the transitions between standing and sitting or lying. Walking is fine. The constant ache just makes me tired and a little irritable, but I am going to do my best to overcome that.

The bus trip yesterday from Amman to Malka was challenging because of the ache and the need to move slowly, but I managed it and got to Om Talha's house fairly early in the day. I spent the rest of it visiting with her and some others and going for a walk.

Several people have asked about security, and how people see Americans. So far I have observed no evidence of anti-Americanism in either Egypt or Jordan, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm just not seeing anything. In Egypt, the security is obviously very important to them in the sense that they have installed metal detectors everywhere, going into every monument, and there are tourist police EVERYWHERE. Relatively as ubiquitous as the sand on the street. However, one has the sense going through them of going through the motions as no one was stopped when the detector went off. Major hotels have security as well--my father stayed in the fancy ones in Cairo, and they had metal detectors and were searching bags both by hand and by xray. They seemed much more serious about it than the police at the monuments.

Traffic in Cairo was the worst I have ever seen it. It was so smoggy the entire time we were there that it looked like a heavy fog over the city. I suppose in the states it would be one of those places where they'd issue warnings not to go out, not that it helps to stay in if you open the windows.

oh! have to go. I am late.

Egypt to Jordan

hello!

I am sorry to say, this is not going to be the email I had hoped. My back has decided to..to..I don't know, but it is very painful and it hurts most when sitting so this will be short. It feels rather like the spasm I had a couple of years ago in Minnesota, but it isn't as bad, thank the powers that be!!! I don't know what I'd do if I was incapacitated like that here, especially since I haven't made it to Malka yet.

I made it to Amman safely today about 6 PM. Since it had been dark for an hour at that point, I decided to find myself a hotel and just stay here tonight. It is very hard to get buses at night in Jordan in my experience and I didn't want to end up in Irbid late and having to figure out what next. I will go in the morning. Amman is just as I remembered it except that they are building a new bridge connecting the fancy section of town (US embassy area) with the more businesse-y section and so the roads are torn up in places. I am looking forward to going to Malka, but hoping I will make it as I feel best standing or lying, and of course, I have a backpack to carry.....

When last I wrote we were in Luxor. Since then we visited a number of gorgeous temples and went to Edfu and Aswan and Abu Simbel in Upper (southern) Egypt. The trip was very relaxing on the cruise boat, with a lot of time to sit and look at the banks slide by, people fishing and farming and even swimming, and animals. We had a excellent, very knowledgeable guide who was invaluable since there is absolutely no interpretative signage available! I learned a lot about history, temples and how to read the signs on the wall and know who is who in the drawings. The temples are really as fabulous as everyone says they are and I encourage everyone to go. We saw, let's see...Karnak, which is really a complex, the Luxor Temple nearby it, the Valley of the Kings (three tombs: Thutmoses III, and two Ramses tombs), then went to Edfu to the temple of Horus, then to Kom Ombo, then the Abu Simbel which are temples by Ramses II for Horus and Hathor, and in Aswan to Philae as well as the site of the oblisks and the dam. It is a lot to take in and a lot of history. Most of the temples were built over a number of kings, who added/changed at will. Some of them had fallen down by Greek times and were then rebuilt by the Greeks who kept the original structure, mostly, but changed the images to include themselves. Mostly they were trying to gain legitimacy for themselves by connecting their reigns to the old gods of Egypt. Truly fascinating.

Abu Simbel is only 40 KM from Sudan and it seems they have a very smooth system of flying people in and out the same day, with about 2 hours to see the temples. That only works if you aren't planning to stay and really look at everything because there just isn't time. The temples are located right on Lake Nasser, the one created by the Aswan High Dam, and were moved there from the original location which would now be submerged. This has to have been a herculean task because those statues are ENORMOUS and massive. Many of these things weighed thousands of tons. The temples are gorgeous, of course, and the site is also lovely looking over the lake.

Philae was probably the prettiest site wise--situated on an island in the Nile. It was also moved from its original island to one not far away because of the original Aswan dam. Regardless, the UN went to some trouble to make sure it is very similar to the old spot and to reconstruct it exactly. All in all, the UN moved 12 temples to save them when the dam was created.

We then spent 3 very rushed days in Cairo, two of them shopping and one visiting family and friends. We went to lunch with my great uncle and his kids. They grew up in Germany and are very westernized. I particularly like Leila. The rest of the family is quite religious so it was interesting to watch the interaction. It was also interesting to watch my father interact with them, and other family members we went to see. In two cases, we were there 15 -30 minutes--a lot of effort for very little in my mind. His decision. All in all, Egypt was wonderful.

So there's the update. I stayed longer than I intended, but ah well. I am going to go to the hotel and sleep so I can get up early and go off to Malka. I hope my back is going to be all right.

greetings from Luxor!!

It is hot and lovely here. I did a bad packing job for heat, although I am working with it. My choices make more sense for Cairo and Jordan, but so it goes. We arrived in Luxor yesterday after getting up at 3 AM to make the plane and went to the Valley of the Kings, Valley of the Queens and then to Karnak and Luxor Temples and to the Karnak light and sound show. Needless to say, by 10 PM we were all practically dead, and I nearly fell asleep at one point sitting on a rock in Karnak while the guide told us about it! He was very interesting and knowledgeable, so I learned a lot. We went into three tombs, all of which were lovely. The first was Thutmose III who had walls very much like the ones in the Quest for Immortality exhibit if you remember that. We had to climb up a very steep stair case and then down an even steeper one to get in and it was STIFLING hot inside, but still fabulous enough to make it all worth it. Plus, when we came out, Luxor's 70+ felt cool and nice. :-). We then went into the tombs of two of the Ramses (there were a lot of Ramses Pharaohs) which were also both wonderful and neither as much work either. We did not go into King Tut's because most everything is not there now as it is the US for the big exhibit.

The cruise leaves Luxor today so we are looking forward to some lazy time on the boat as we do not get to Edfu until tomorrow.

Cairo was as I remembered it but more so in every way. Huge, crazy drivers, dirty--oh my, so dirty!--fascinating, cheaper (unless your are buying gold, and then it is more expensive because gold is high right now) and so fun. We did just a modicum of shopping on Saturday and I have much more to do. We started with all the things that needed time to accomplish like jewelery and tailors and so on. I swear my father comes here more for the tailor (who is ridiculously cheap) than anything else.

getting ready

I am going to the Middle East on Friday. It is fun to write words like that in a blase manner, I must say! Because really, it is an amazing thing to just pick up one day and go off to Egypt and Jordan, which is what I am going to do on Friday.

I just got off the phone with a friend from Jordan who I was calling to make sure she had gotten my email, would be there, and that I could stay with her. Jordanians, lovely people, tend to be short on communications of this type. I was fairly sure I am going to be fine, and will have a surfeit of places to stay, but then again you never can tell these things. She tells me that there is no reason whatsoever to stay in Amman and come up the day after, so I suppose I'll save myself the trouble and money and do it that way. She gave me directions *laugh* which I remember, although boy! I can tell I have not been speaking arabic, because when she went off in a hurry, I was lost. But it will come back to me. Maybe I'll manage after all to listen to those CDs I got to refresh my memory. Maybe I'll go buy a CD player so I can take them with me.

It is cold today, and all week--bitter, icy cold, but no snow. Cold enough to not want to go outside at all if possible, forever. It is nice to have a cat to curl up with. Which reminds me, great news, he is off insulin!! My poor kitty has been very unhappily getting two injections per day, but the vet has pronounced him able to go off insulin as long as he stays on the special food. That is a relief.

So check back; I am going to post here whenever I get the chance from overseas. I am sure the first time will be from a fancy 1st class lounge in some airport. My father keeps reminding me that I am to use them.

low battery, got to go.

male minds--or, rather, one male mind

Excuse me while I bitch for a few moments.

I am obviously unable to comprehend some male minds. I never thought this of myself, seeing as I have many close male friends, but it appears to be true. Why would a heterosexual man, best friend and confidant, apparently uninterested in a romantic relationship, make a point of kissing the female friend, on the mouth, every night? Just once. A peck type kiss. I would be perfectly happy with the hug, and hell of less perturbed. Maybe it means nothing. It must mean nothing, since it goes no further, and one might say he's not the touchy-feely type. Even though this action seems completely out of character for this male person, given the background. *shakes head, rolls eyes*

I can't believe it is Sunday. Since I joined the Search (for a new minister) Committee at church, which is a year long commitment, and we decided to meet on Sunday morning prior to Church, weekends have not felt like weekends. I mean, the Search Committee stuff is work! Interesting, even fun, but still work, and a regular commitment on sunday. Today we ran the service for the church, which actually went very well in spite of the rather dry subject matter (the search process and timeline). However, enough people walked up to me and said it was a good service, so it must have been--you know, validation through popular acclaim.

By the by, I make the best pudding. It is so easy! You, too, can have the best pudding! I don't know why anyone uses the boxed stuff. The new Joy of Cooking has these very simple, luscious puddings with cornstarch which take about 10 minutes to make. Chocolately! Vanilla-y! Yummy!

The school year is about to start, and since my worklife rather focuses around the school year, it seems like the new year, instead of January which is midway. So, here are my resolutions:
1) make art every week (set aside a planned time and don't let anything disturb it, even travelling!). I am thinking like two hours on Monday night, or something like that.
2) Cook my own dinners, and lunches, more frequently--based on last year, twice a week would be more frequent, but I'd like to aim for 5/week.
3) Walk every day, or ride my bike more than just to work and back. Or swim. Something. exercise regularly, that's my point.
4) write every day. go back to the evening journal, and the morning pages. try writing poetry again.

(I know you are supposed to do these things in 3s, but I prefer 4s) I keep making these resolutions, keeping them for awhile, and then breaking them. I'm trying to get my male friend, the confusing one, to do something similar so we can keep each other in line. At least 1 and 2.

Friday evening at the hospital

My mom is here visiting and this afternoon, she was in a lot of pain from her leg. We ended up in an emergency room for an ultrasound (as the Dr pointed out, this is Cheyenne and nothing is open). Turns out that everything is fine, alhumdulilah, and she probably has a torn hamstring. Heck of a way to spend one's Friday evening.

Since then, I have been powerpointing until bleary, and trying not to annoy the cat, who thinks he should sleep on the keyboard, and mouse, of the computer. Maybe I'll be more awake tomorrow.

feet

I just finished rereading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, a book I recommend to anyone. This is the third time I have read it and I still had a hard time putting it down. One thing that rang true this time is his grief about losing his feet. While I am in no danger of that happening, sometimes it feels like I have nothing but problems with them. Yesterday something took place in my right foot which makes me feel like maybe I sprained it or something. However, pain is inconsistent and not necessarily from walking--more from twisting. I can't explain it, suffice it to say it is annoying. My other heel is hurting, probably from bad shoes and going barefoot on cement too much. I am sure this will all pass.

tea of tranquility

That's the name of the Baskin Robbins ice cream I ate this evening. It should have been better than it was. Chai flavored, with cinnamon and ginger snaps (which were mushy, but very gingery), ice cream. Sounds good, doesn't it? But it was just, I dunno, odd. Maybe it was because the ginger snaps weren't snappy enough. The chocolate almond tasted like the almonds weren't roasted, as they were supposed to be, and it wasn't chocolatey enough to bother with eating. I'm told I'm too picky, but I DON'T CARE. Oh, and the waffle cone wasn't the freshest. I mean, really, they are the only ice cream gig in town, so you would think they could do a decent job.

I know that blogging is just not really my thing. Except, I think it should be. I just can't seem to decide on a time to keep this up. Of course, I feel like I have lived in a whirlwind most of the last year. Anyway, we have an extra computer at work which I am going to start keeping at home, so if I can get it connected to the internet, then I will try to blog more regularly. Or maybe I'll try to do it on break at work, not that I ever take breaks. Break is getting a drink of water, and besides, who wants to hear about work all the time?

My cat is being very cute and cuddly this evening. I think I don't sit down enough for him. The poor guy hasn't been feeling very well for the last few months (I am a bad cat owner). He had this deep, hacking cough so I finally took him to the vet, who says it is asthma. So she puts him on a steroid which doesn't really work, and, to boot, has now tipped him into having diabetes, so now I have to give him insulin, but hopefully only for awhile. Theoretically until I have to start traveling again in September. Which, eek, reminds me that he has to have medicine while I am gone to Lovell for the Board meeting next week. Argh! He also has an inhaler (try explaining that to a cat), which has this special applicator thing that you put over his nose so he breathes it in. Poor guy, he's been very patient and easy going about all of this, although he was annoyed to be dragged to the vet's twice in one week.

What else have I been doing? Working like crazy. WE have this great intern right now who we are working to death and who is a fabulous organizer so we are taking full advantage. Unfortunately, I have her doing things which, well, she needs help with, and so, um, I am getting very little of my work done, although this stuff is really no one's job. Except for the receptionist, who doesn't like it. Or something.

Wow. A burmese python (did you know these can get up to 200 pounds?) ate an electric blanket and needed surgery. Scary stuff. They also had interesting articles about alligators and pythons fighting in the Everglades. Apparently they're about matched. A python tried to digest an alligator (they eat their prey whole) and bust its gut; but another alligator carried a python around for a day in its mouth and wasn't able to kill it. I read this at National Geographic. Freaky. I wouldn't like to meet one of those anywhere, never mind a dark alley. Apparently the one, which is a pet, had the electric blanket to help it stay warm, because it lives in Idaho, is from Asia and produces no body heat of its own. Why have a 60 pound snake for a pet? It isn't even cuddly, like my cat.

back aches

Yesterday I was packing to go to Green River, and then Lander, and I was only partially bent over, and then when I stood up, I think a muscle in my back seized up. It was hard to stand up straight yesterday, but nothing like the spasm I had 3 years ago, thank heavens! It is much better today, but definitely lingering. I did some stretches, and soaked in a hot tub, and went for a walk. Maybe tomorrow will be even better.

Had a fun afternoon chatting with an artist friend of mine today. She does raku, and mixed media, and paints silk, among other things. It always feels good to spend some time with a woman friend. We spent quite some time discussing online matching services which was interesting. She's on eharmony and I was for quite awhile, so we exchanged impressions and experiences.

I don't really have a topic for this post.

tiredness, and an encounter

I didn't get enough sleep friday thursday night and then I had to wake up too fast on Friday. I used to be expert at getting out of bed and somewhere in 10 minutes flat and feel fine; I made it, but I felt wierd all day. It was like my body never really woke up and was just reluctant about the whole day. I felt clumsy and it seemed like every movement was a challenge. There is also the sense of being shaky--like nothing is quite stable.

Later I caught another wind (where does this wierd phrase come from?) and stayed up late last night, and had to get up early this morning, too. I wasn't tired, and I had time to wake up, but then about 2 I got really tired so I fell into a very deep sleep for 2 hours in Rawlins at the WYDOT site. I make a habit of napping if I get really sleepy while driving, but it isn't the most comfortable thing to sleep in a car. I had to jerk myself awake and get on the road to get home and I felt shaky the rest of the day. I did have a fabulous dinner at Jeffreys with some dreamy stuff called Framboise Lambic Ale. This is a beer which is a beautiful deep red color and an astonishing raspberry flavor. I had it for dessert along with one of their fabulous tortes (their baker is amazing).

Last night as I was working on the IRS application for Friends of Jordan, LJ messaged me. I hadn't talked to him in quite some time, possibly 6 months or so. I met him online about 2 years ago and we've seen each other exactly 3 times, although we've talked a lot. This is a true relationship of convenience, and it is rarely convenient to get together and have sex with someone in Loveland without some planning! Our schedules are usually incompatible. Anyway, he is also very good on the phone, so we had some fun, which is part of why I didn't get enough sleep last night. We seem to meld well sexually, which is fun but not terribly satisfying considering how infrequently it takes place.

My friend Alala has a song of the day; I prefer to try to read a poem every day. Music is sometimes just too much stimulus for me. That started while I was overseas in Jordan when I'd come home so tired from speaking Arabic all day that I just couldn't stand anything but silence. I still love silence. That said, a new favorite singer of mine is James Blunt, introduced to me by MK. The poet of the day is David Romtvedt, poet laureate of Wyoming. You can find reviews of his several books of poetry and essays by putting his name into google. The newest is Some Church, just published by Milkweed Press.

Terry Tempest Williams

I had the great good fortune to meet Terry Tempest Williams today. For those uninitiated, she is a Utah educator and writer who has just moved to Jackson, WY, with her husband, who is the new director of The Murie Center. I have read three of her books now--An Unspoken Hunger, Refuge, and The Open Space of Democracy. Her writing is lyrical, intelligent, and full of the natural world. She is an advocate of people, freedom and the earth.

She came to talk to the Wyoming Leadership Associates Program about democracy and education. This is a dicussion group about the relationship of democracy and education and we read her book, The Open Space of Democracy as one of the discussion spurs.

snowy night

I happen to be in Laramie tonight. I'm actually here for a few hours every day for four days in a row. As my boss said, they didn't set this up for Cheyenne people! Laramie's a nice place, usually, and has a lot of interesting people. Tonight there is piles of snow--I think we got 6 inches or so. The roads are icy, very icy, so going home tonight is not an option. No unnecessary travel, or closed. Apparently Cheyenne got dumped on after I left about 5.

So...it's been awhile. My good friend Alala has been gently reminding me that I have a blog, and she likes it. Which is very nice of her, since it has all of 6 posts, or some such. I don't have a computer at home, and doing this at work seems wrong. Although I do other things at work which I likely shouldn't.

Last night the sink clogged up. Of course, we were having an Guinness Appreciation Party at my house (my roommate's party, really), and by the time everyone got there, I was ready for them to be gone already. The atmosphere was tense--my roommate was unhappy with how her Irish stew was turning out, and I was annoyed because I had to make the soda bread a second time. I left the first one in the oven at least 20 minutes too long, and even though it was edible, I wasn't happy about it, so I made another. Much tastier. I recommend soda bread, and it is easy to make. Anyway, so just after people started coming, the kitchen sink decided to clog. MERCY! Does it always have to happen at just the right moment? It took more than two hours to clear it out, and I was Not Having Fun in spite of my good fortune to have Mr Confusing present and several other helpful people. He plunged and plunged, and then we tried vinigar and baking soda, and then went to the store for the nasty stuff. That finally worked.

The party was fun though. Good food, great people, lots of laughter. I just wasn't into it as much as I might have been. The guinness was good too.

confusing relationships

Usually I am pretty good at understanding relationships and getting people. But I am currently involved in one which confuses me often. Part of it is the pressure of what other people assume--we are assumed by those who don't know to be a couple, and sometimes treated as one. We even function that way to an extent. We are very close. We love each other--I think I might be in love, too,--and we spend a lot of time together. We are friends though. Nothing more, nothing less. I think the thing that promotes my confusion the most is not the assumptions people make, but rather one small action on his part. I am used to a lot of physical intimacy with my close friends, including male ones. What I am not used to is kissing, even pecks, on the mouth. There's basically two men--besides this one--who do that currently and my relationships with them are very clear. Non-sexual, non-attracted, long-standing, family relationship. With this one though, he seems to be delibrately kissing me at the end of the day. He is making that happen, not me. I have been kind of letting it ride for awhile, waiting to see what it might mean, or not mean, but now I am feeling like that isn't a good idea anymore.

I still have not solved the issue of when I might write in this regularly.

time

I have to figure out where to make a little time for this...other than while traveling.

Houses

Tonight, I am in Rawlins WY. On the surface, Rawlins doesn't look like much and I must admit, my heart sank when we got to town and the Thai place--the only Thai restaurant in Wyoming barring those in Jackson--was closed! More on Rawlins in my other blog, Wyo Wanderer, which I have just decided to start, about traveling in Wyoming. Hm. I must like this system.

I've noted I have a marked preference for Victorian houses, or at least that type of house. Must have something to do with being raised in a Victorian seaport. I also like colonial brick, imposing houses, but only to look at from outside (I guess that comes from the 9 years in St. Louis). This is not to say I do not like my own, not-Victorian, house. House observation is something I like to do. I like to walk by and see what I like and don't like and what I'd do differently. I like to look in windows (from the street--I walk in the middle of streets whenever I can--can't see much of anything, please!), especially if the house is uninhabited. Empty houses have such potential about them.

I was looking at houses in Port Townsend. Several of my friends have built houses and they have some really good ideas. Most of these are small houses with very clever ways of using space. Also, gorgeous, simple touches. L used sea glass as handles for the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen, and pressed it into the stucco walls. A window seat that pulls out into a queen sized bed. A friend in WY has an outdoor shower--that is a treat in the summer! I also like the system of a shower without a tub or pan, just a drain in the floor. Very simple.

Finally I saw a large house on 10 acres outside of PT which is falling down. They (the people who own it) got it for a song. It needed a foundation and a roof, and that is just the beginning. Carpeting, bathroom, hideous wallpaper, no insulation, but the house has such potential. The view and the silence are to die for, too.

eHarmony, the blank slate

I'm back in Seattle now and I walked quite a way (from 21st and Union up to Broadway) for dinner, so at least I managed one of the things I am trying to make a habit of today!!

I've been a member of eHarmony for probably two years, or a bit more, at this point. It started out O.K., and was active for quite some time and then, sometime in the last year, just became a dead thing. I have nudged it firmly and it only wheezes, very unconvincingly. Maybe it is my profile, but one way or another, the men I am matched to (and it is way more people than you might think) are not interested in me. That's quite mutual, I must admit. For some reason, their matching thing seems far less discriminatory than they suggest it is. They also somehow fail to take into account upbringing and values, I think--because mine are not reflected even slightly in 99% of the matches they make for me. I really don't think it is too much to ask that I should not have to completely educate these matches and put up with the vibrations of "you are weird" because I am not like they are. I actually quit about 6 months ago, but then I got asked to communicate for the first time in probably 3 months, so I re-upped for a few months. I'm not appreciating it, though, so I think it is high time I just said no.

fog, sand and wood fires

I had forgotten what it was like to deal with wood fires all the time. I both like it and don't. Dealing with the wood is a very physical experience--from chopping it, to carrying it to putting it into the stove and adjusting it so it will burn to best advantage. I was gratified to learn I could still chop wood just fine!

It is strange being home. A different pattern, which is very comfortable in many ways, than I currently have at home. I feel more comfortable in my clothes here--they fit in more.

Being near the water is almost transcendent. It is such a presence, and I resonate with it so much. Daniel and I walked up to Memory Vault yestersday in the pouring rain, smelling the salt water, and I read the poems as the rain soaked me and puddled everywhere.

the first post

I am starting this on a whim, and shall see where it goeth...

Tonight I am in Seattle and enjoying the fog and the damp.